As moms, we tend to operate as robots. Routines are unintentionally integrated into our every day. And, everyone knows that once you have kids, you become last priority. At least that’s how it works in my household. First thing in the morning, I open my eyes to find Bee staring at me (remember, I told you guys I’m a cosleeping mama) waiting on me to whip my boob out and feed her. I love having her next to me because it keeps my milk plentiful and causes less morning chaos. I always hope that she’ll dose off before Bug wakes up but it’s rare that it happens. Usually, as soon as I wrap up her feeding, Bug is wiping sleep from his eyes muttering “mommy, can you make me something to eat?”
And so, the day begins. . .
By the time I look up, I kid you not, it’s probably about 2:00 and I am still in my pajamas (sometimes with a yuck mouth – don’t you dare judge me) wondering where the time went. Yes, it is midday before I even get to shower. And trust me when I say I enjoy every single glorious minute of that shower, but it never lasts more than 5 minutes. Next thing I know, I have toddler opening my shower door asking me to fix him “something to eat” and an infant babbling to let me know she’s wide awake. For this reason, my daily wardrobe consists of yoga pants and an old t-shirt. And my hair, tuh, goes untouched for days at a time.
What a life? Right.
I’m sure that this routine, or lack thereof, played a part in my postpartum depression. So yesterday, I said to hell with this. I wanted to feel normal again, so I made it happen. After making breakfast for Bug and putting Bee down for her morning nap, I dedicated some time for myself. I showered (well before midday), I did my hair and even did my make-up. Now before you say “what’s the big deal” let me tell you I haven’t touched my face since my baby shower in March. I probably haven’t done my hair since then either (messy buns don’t count). And even better, I put on ACTUAL clothes. I got dressed and felt GREAT!
So, what happened next?
Nothing, absolutely nothing. I didn’t have any intentions to go anywhere. I didn’t have a fancy date. No special plans at all. Yet, here I was sitting in front of my mirror with a full face of makeup. If I could compliment myself, I’d say I looked FAB! I felt pretty, I felt confident, I felt like MYSELF again. I took a few pictures to capture the moment and realized that I needed to do this more often.
Day in and day out, I ensure that my kids look their absolute best. I ensure that they have clean teeth, fresh clothes, great hair and I go untouched. So after yesterday I made a vow to myself. Once a week I would get dressed completely. I don’t care if it’s to sit in the house, go to the grocery store or to work in my garden. I needed to feel good. It was up to me to ensure that my spirit was full and my self-love meter was abundant. No more leaving myself out.
Now, I am not saying that I want to be one of those perfect Instagram moms. You guys know who I’m talking about. The ones wearing heels with perfect makeup and perfect hair, toting an infant on their hip smiling. Just FLAWLESS! And don’t get me wrong, I am not judging at all. If you can get up and do that every day, I applaud you. But for this mama, that is mission impossible. And that is A-OK with me. One day a week is doable, so that’s what I am aiming for.
Truth be told, my moment was short-lived. . .
I probably got an hour at best before I once again heard bee babbling. I knew it was titty-time! Bug was sure to follow closely behind her with his demands once he opened his eyes. I was back on call and mom duty was in full swing. But this time, I felt re-energized. I didn’t mind Bug’s whiny voice as he followed me around the house. I wasn’t bothered by the excess heat Bee was giving off as she latched onto me in this 100 plus degree weather. I was content and my tank was full once again.
It didn’t take some elaborate spa day or vacation for me to be okay. Just that simple bit of “me time” replenished me completely. Self-care is so easily forgotten but so very important to a mom’s mental and emotional health. Finding time to do something you enjoy, even on the busiest of days, will remind you that you aren’t just this mom-bot! It is okay to put the kids down, walk away and close a door. That doesn’t make you horrible, it makes you human! Your littles need you. For the rest of your life, they will need you in some shape or form. You have to ask yourself, how can you expect to be there for them and support them if you’re not first, here for yourself. I got my sexy back, even if only for the moment. You can too!
Do what it takes to make you feel less drab and more FAB!
You deserve it mama 🙂