Hearing your child’s first word is like magic to your ears. For them, it is probably one of the biggest milestones in their early life. Whether it is ‘baba’ ‘mama’ ‘dada’ or something else, as a parent you know that your child is grasping the English language. As they age, one word becomes two, two becomes three and so on until they can formulate sentences. As a mother, this is one of my favorite times. For the most part, you say goodbye to the guessing game. They learn to effectively communicate their wants and needs by listening to what you say and watching what you do. Did you read that last part? They listen to what you say. Which is why I’m blaming myself for my son dropping the F-Bomb!
Yup, that’s right. Bug said the F-word.
It’s true, I kind of have a potty mouth. Well, let me be honest, I curse like a sailor. I’ve learned to tame it (or so I thought) around the kids and use it only when they’re out of ear shot. But we all know kids are ALWAYS listening (lesson learned) and they soak up everything like a sponge. It’s part of their learning process. Now before you judge me I will say I’ve been working on it. It has been a goal of mine for quite some time and I thought I was close to kicking that bad habit. Bug informed me otherwise.
So, let me put this in context for you
I was sitting writing a blog when bee started crying. Every time she starts to cry bug runs to her rescue from wherever he is to:
- Ask what’s wrong?
- Give her the binkie
He’s such a great big brother! Any who, it was about the 5th time (I kid you not) that he had run into the room, climbed on my bed and gave her the binkie when I think his frustration peaked. He was slowly climbing off the bed to return to doing his letters when he seen her spit it out again. He stopped mid-climb, crawled over to her and popped it in one last time .Only to have her immediately spit it out and start whining again. His response? The F-Bomb. With such conviction and defeat, my lovely sweet child dropped the F-Bomb!
Now what is a mama to do?
I thought my ears were deceiving me. There’s no way my TWO-year-old angel could have used such foul language in perfect context. And as I replayed the scene in my head, I shook my head and accepted that my child had mastered a curse word. I started asking myself a million questions. How many times had he heard me say it? How did he know when to use it? Had he been waiting for this exact moment to try out his new word? My mind was racing.
More importantly, how was I to react in this moment? I didn’t know if I was supposed to be angry or be humored by his audacity. So, instead of doing either (I will admit I chuckled on the inside) I used it as an educational moment. I sat him down, and asked him to repeat what he said (yes, I let him say the F-Bomb again but bear with me) and asked him if he knew what it meant. No? Great. I then informed him that we were putting it on our list of bad words. No one was to say that word, including mommy, anymore. Surprisingly, he responded with “Sorry mommy, I won’t say that bad word again.”
Mommy win or fail?
Safe to say this interaction proved to be a mommy fail, but I did my best to turn it into a small win. Although, this will only be tested with time. For the both of us. All I know is that I better not here Bug using that word again. Even if it is perfectly executed.
For the moment, I believe it is. He knows that isn’t a nice word. And I will continue to work with him as he builds his vocabulary. He’ll learn the difference between the good words and the bad ones. In return, once he starts going to school, I won’t receive phone calls about what he’s teaching his peers. We take it one day at a time.
On the other hand, this was a lesson for me. I need to be more aware of not only my surroundings but also my conversations. I tend to use profanity most when I am upset, frustrated or angry (which he clearly picked up on) and that is what needs to change. I need to learn to take those moments of chaos and ground myself using positive language and reminding myself of my mommy mantras. For each negative reaction to a situation, there is a positive counteraction that I have written down and will gladly share with you shortly. They are short and easy to use to help bring you peace in your chaos instead of taking it out on yourself or your kids. But in the meantime. . .
NO MORE F-BOMBS!