#ParentingFails

Boy Mom Problems | Part 1

Being a boy mom has its perks. They like to wrestle with you and don’t mind getting dirty. They’re protective but all the while sweet and loving towards they’re favorite girl (mommy). However, I think I’ve reached a stage in my boy mom journey that I’d like to skip. I rubbed my temples just thinking about what I am about to tell you. *Deep Sigh*

So as many of you know, potty training bug was probably one of my biggest challenges as a mother thus far. He’s was pretty easygoing up until then and he truly showed his stubbornness during this time. Thankfully, we’ve remained accident free and I can say he’s about 98.9% potty-trained! Woohoo! Not gonna say 100% because I still have to remind him to go sometimes and for the new problem we are facing. But, I will gladly take that percentage with a smile especially after the fiasco we endured together trying to get this accomplished.

However, that is not to say everything is all peachy these days. Yes, bug is going pee and poop in the toilet. Win! Yes he tells me when he has to go. Win! But his aim is TERRIBLE. I think I clean more piss off my floors and the back of the toilet NOW than ever before. I literally have to tell him to hold his penis all the way down in hopes that his stream will go solely in the toilet. Otherwise, once he starts going it shoots straight up in the sky. I can’t make this crap up!

Every time he goes to the restroom I cringe as I listen in. I hope that I instantly hear pee meeting water because I know that if I hear any silence before then it means that it didn’t make it in the toilet. And more than likely, it’s dripping down my wall in slow motion. I don’t know where this lasso pissing has come from, but I think i’ve inhaled enough bleach to lighten my nose hairs. Truly!

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It’s typically the worst when he first wakes up. He’s usually too drowsy to comprehend “hold your penis down” or just too lazy to care and has a full bladder. I’ve heard of the cheerio aiming trick (which I promise you I will try) but I’m about two bathroom trips shy of saran wrapping everything in the bathroom (including him).

But that’s not even the worst part. . .

Since bug has been going to the restroom regularly and learning how to hold his penis at the proper angle, he’s developed a fascination with his boy parts. I know kids discover themselves and through this action learn to properly identify what feels good and what doesn’t but you guys I wasn’t ready for this at all.

He’s constantly touching his boy parts or has his hands in his pants. First time I noticed this new milestone, I walked in on him watching cartoons with his penis in his hand. Against my better judgment, I freaked out. My eyes got big and I instantly told him to “put that thing away.” Since then, it has become a regular thing. He’s taking it out the side of his underwear regularly and just holding it or even fondling it.

I just gave myself chills thinking about this. Help Me!

In retrospect, telling him to “put that thing away” every time he takes it out is probably not the best response to this situation. But hey, I’m learning here guys and I wasn’t prepared for this stage of boy mom parenting. I naively thought it only occurred in the pre-teen/teen years. Boy was I wrong.

Even still, I don’t want him to think that any part of his body is gross or unnatural. I also don’t want him to feel uncomfortable talking to me about anything he may be feeling in regards to his body (although I do believe it may be time for his dad to have a talk with him). As such, I am working on my responses. The goal here is to not discourage him from self-exploration but rather identify appropriate times to do so. Such as when he is alone, in his room, and not around other people. Wish me luck!

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Bug truly gave me my first REAL lesson in boy mom parenting. . .

And I can say I am a little bit terrified of what else to expect as he ages. I had a conversation about it with my mom recently. I asked if she could substitute for this period and tap me back in when we’ve surpassed this phase. She’s raised a boy already. She denied being my personal sub so I guess I have to suck it up. I just want to unsee it all!

In all seriousness, I am aware that this is clearly normal and healthy for him. As such, I want to be sure that I am responding appropriately.

Any of you moms that have gone through this phase have any advice on how to get through it without being completely weirded out?

(I am open to advice about aiming while he pees and the self-exploration.)

Boy Mom Problems!

boy mom, bugbeeandme, parenting, potty training, mom life

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2 thoughts on “Boy Mom Problems | Part 1

  1. This is too funny. I’m totally dealing with this right now. Unfortunately I realize having multiple bathrooms with a boy is not good, as there is more pee to clean. I also have to remind my son to hold it down when goes and to put the seat down because if I sit in pee one more time I’m going to go postal. Lol thanks for sharing, I know I’m not alone and I have no suggestions to offer, just laughter! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    1. Lol, I am so with you on the multiple bathrooms thing. For some reason now when I tell him to pee he always asks if he can use mine πŸ˜‚ I want to say no but because he’s always in my room, mine is closer. I’m glad I’m not the only one on the brink of losing my sanity with this stage of parenting πŸ˜‚

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